Quotes From "Indiana Jones And The Crystal Skull"

A lot of fans have written in and said that they are concerned that the Next Indiana Jones Sequel may have too many references to Aliens and Flying Saucers. We have found excerpts of the script to assure you...

Warning! These are actual lines from the movie directed by Steven Spielberg...


Narrator: No one would have believed in the early years of the 2ost century that our world was being watched by intelligences greater than our own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns, *they* observed and studied, the way a man with a microscope might scrutinize the creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency, men went to and fro about the globe, confident of our empire over this world. Yet across the gulf of space, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic regarded our planet with envious eyes and slowly, and surely, drew their plans against us.
Project Leader: He says the sun came out last night. He says it sang to him.

David Laughlin: Who flies crates like these anymore?
Project Leader: No one. These planes were reported missing in 1945.

Mutt Jones: I don't understand these fractions.
Indiana Jones What's one third of sixty?
Mutt Jones: [bewildered] That's a fraction, I don't understand them.
Indiana Jones [using a model train as an object lesson] Alright, let's say that this boxcar is sixty feet long, OK?, and one third of it is across this switch here, alright... And now another train is coming... Now, how far do you have to move this boxcar so that the other train doesn't smash it? Quickly Mutt, there are thousands of lives at stake... Mutt any answer... [CRASH]

[Indiana is shoveling soil into his kitchen window]
Indiana Jones Marion, if I don't do this, *that's* when I'm going to need a doctor.


Indiana Jones [contemplating the lump shape] This means something. This is important.

Agent Spalko: Dr. Jones, what do you want?
Indiana Jones I just want to know that it's really happening.

Indiana Jones I know this sounds crazy, but ever since yesterday on the road, I've been seeing this shape. Shaving cream, pillows... Dammit! I know this. I know what this is! This means something. This is important. - I guess you've noticed something a little strange with Dad. It's okay, though. I'm still Dad.

Indiana Jones [checking the paper] Hey, you know what's playing tonight? Pinocchio! You guys have never seen Pinocchio, you're in luck!
Mutt Jones: Aw, who wants to see some dumb cartoon rated 'G' for kids?
Indiana Jones How old are you?
Mutt Jones: Eight.
Indiana Jones You wanna be nine?
Mutt Jones: Yeah.
Indiana Jones Then you're going to go see Pinocchio tomorrow night.
[Mutt makes a disgusted gesture, but shuts up]
Marrion Ravenwood: Indiana, that is a terrific way to win over your children.
Indiana Jones I'm not serious, I'm just saying that I grew up with Pinocchio, and if kids are still kids, they're going to eat it up.
[Marrion looks at him in disgust]
Indiana Jones Okay, I'm wrong, all right? I'm Wrong Indiana.
[Yells at his youngest son, who is demolishing his sister's doll]
Indiana Jones TOBY! You are close to death! Come out here!
[Toby giggles, but obeys]
Indiana Jones Okay, let's have a vote. Tomorrow night you can play Goofy Golf, which is a lot of standing in line and shoving and pushing, and probably getting a 'zero,' or you can see Pinocchio, which is a lot of furry animals and magic, and you'll have a wonderful time. Okay? So let's vote.
[the kids all vote for golf]
David Laughlin: Doctor Jones, Have you recently had a close encounter?
[Trying to get his kids to look for UFOs at 4 AM]
Indiana Jones: It's better than Goofy Golf!

News Producer: It's the same everywhere - once the tripods begin to move, no more news comes out of that area.

Indiana Jones Is that it? Is that all you're gonna ask me? Well I got a couple of thousand goddamn questions, you know. I want to speak to someone in charge. I want to lodge a complaint. You have no right to make people crazy! You think I investigate every Walter Cronkite story there is? Huh? If this is just nerve gas, how come I know everything in such detail? I've never been here before. How come I know so much? What the hell is going on around here? Who the hell are you people?
David Laughlin: We didn't choose this place! We didn't choose these people! They were invited!
Agent Spalko: They belong here more than we.
Indiana Jones I wanna speak to the man in charge.
David Laughlin: Ms. Spalko is the highest authority.
Indiana Jones She isn't even an American.
Scientist 1: Abner WAS right!
Team Leader: Abner was PROBABLY one of them!
Mutt: You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn't let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.
Farmer: [at press conference to discuss UFOs] I saw Bigfoot once! It made a sound that I don't care to hear twice in my life.

Narrator: From the moment the invaders arrived, breathed our air, ate and drank, they were doomed. They were undone, destroyed, after all of man's weapons and devices had failed, by the tiniest creatures that God in his wisdom put upon this earth. By the toll of a billion deaths, man had earned his immunity, his right to survive among this planet's infinite organisms. And that right is ours against all challenges. For neither do men live nor die in vain.

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