“Shooting The Goose,” by Ryan Anderson

October 30th, 2004

O'Ryan Factor“Jumping the shark”…it’s a phrase used more and more often. It describes when something so ridiculous happens that something can’t be taken seriously any more. The phrase refers to Fonzie jumping over a shark in an episode of “Happy Days”.  In a sense the term means stepping over the line. Today I’d like to recall that statement and replace it with something I see more fit…”shooting the goose”.

That’s the phrase I coined after I saw John Kerry do just that. Only he wasn’t hunting for his own enjoyment. He was hunting in a strange attempt to gain male voters (he seemed to have lost female voters with that move as well). Well it’s ludicrous. Kerry has also been spending a considerable amount of time at African American churches. To be fair, Bush stopped in a few restaurants for some photo ops. But the question that comes to my mind is: were the goose and the church thing out of desperation?




It’s obvious that Teresa Heinz Kerry (His wife) has hurt him with what she says and does. Saying the first lady has never held down a job, yelling things at reporters, saying the  people on the islands should go naked after the hurricane hit…it’s all turned many people off. So these things may have been to clean up after his wife. Maybe he just realizes he’s down in the polls. Either way, he’s kicking the publicity stunts into high gear. The odd thing is, all the while he’s barely doing any television interviews at all.

Bush did FOX-News' The O’Reilly Factor (which is offering the same interview deal to Kerry). Bush is also doing "Good Morning America" and "Hannity and Colmes" as well. That’s a lot of interviews for a campaigning guy who’s also running the country. Kerry hasn’t hit hard in that area at all. This could come back to haunt him. After all, if Bush can find time…why can’t Kerry? Bush seems more confident and optimistic when he does these interviews…when Kerry dodges those opportunities, and I’m sure he’s getting them, it makes him seem unsure about things.  Kerry’s seems to be hiding and coming out once and a while to talk about how Bush is using the terror threat as a scare tactic. That, in my humble opinion, is also ludicrous.

Saying there is not a terror threat may not be the best move for Kerry. Who’ll listen to that? The far left? If he does go into the realm of the far left propagandists it’ll hurt him even more. I think Kerry knows if he’s spotted with Michael Moore at a pub somewhere it’s not good news. So while Bush gains points because he seems more confident (at least confident enough to do interviews) Kerry loses points.

He’s close to losing Iowa and Wisconsin, where I’m currently writing to you from.

Living in Wisconsin, the candidates can be seen coming and going often. Like much of America, you can’t turn on the TV without hearing something about either “how we were mislead” or Kerry’s voting record. I sense the attacks will soon get much more personal. The smiles that the candidates donned during the debates have been wiped away. Eventually, we’ll all be nauseated, and want to crawl into some hole, not hearing anything about either person for a long time.

The whole purpose of this article is to explain why Kerry’s been slipping in the polls and losing points. It’s to explain his bad moves, and furthermore, state what he needs to do to get those points back. Theres a couple things he has to do:
1) He has to get onto a hard hitting venue like the factor or Hardball...nothing like Larry King or the today show.

2) He has to cut out the goofy stuff. He doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a middle class African American…he shouldn’t pretend to

3) He has to stop beating us over the head with the “Bush misleads us” line.

4) He needs to start voicing his plan to correct Iraq. If he wants to win it’s crucial that he starts talking about it.

5) He needs to tell Teresa Heinz Kerry to stop talking. No good can come out of it. I’m sure she’s a wonderful lady, but she comes off arrogant and people can pick up on it.

6) No personal attacks should happen. It makes a candidate seem more gentlemanly. That’s arguably something a president should be.

7) P.R. moves and stupid publicity attempts don’t matter that much anymore. I don’t think they should be bothered with.  It’s important that Kerry hit hard with the issues and appeal to the average left winger, but he’s also faced with the task of making it sound reasonable to the wing voters and maybe even some right wingers.


Kerry has to turn this around. He’s got to make it work. Television is a good way…maybe the best way. But what really has to stop is he must quit “shooting the goose”.  Bush, for a period, tried the same thing, but now appears tougher on what he believes. We know how Bush stands on the issues. We know what he’ll do in Iraq. It’s time for Kerry to step up to the plate and get out into the media without wearing camouflage. This is if he wants to be taken seriously of course.

Bush has gained some room where he can slow down a bit, but not enough to let Kerry catch up. If Kerry does catch up and wins some major states it’s over. It’s going to be close either way. Kerry also has to worry about a lot. That includes losing votes to Nader, who has been known to take about 1 percent of the vote.

At any rate, put yourself in Kerry’s position. Logically, what kind of guy, if any, do the people want replacing the president during a war? A guy with wavy hair and a nice smile who hunts and wind surfs or the guy who can be seen thanking our soldiers for their brave service?  The traits of a leader just aren’t coming out of John Kerry right now. Despite the “reporting for duty” remark at the convention, I have my doubts. It takes more than some slogan to prove you’d be good at protecting the folks and the children of this great land. Show Yourself, Senator Kerry…or lose the election.




One more thing, remember to vote using your own intellect, your own mind. In a new video tape Bin Laden allegedly put out on Friday October 29th, he says Bush has mislead our nation. If you believe it…I have to ask you why you think Bin Laden is a credible source. He isn’t. Does he have anything to gain by telling you that Al Qaida has been hurting from the loss of its higher ups? He has nothing to gain. However, by telling us Bush has done a bad job, he may influence the election. So now the question is raised…does Bin Laden want Kerry to win? If so…does he have any motives behind this? Here’s the bottom line: it’s actually a good thing to put your self into the mindset of the terrorists. That’s the best way to determine who you’re more scared of.

That’s what it’s all about. It doesn’t need to be the lesser of two evils. It could be about the stronger of two patriots. This election is all about who will protect you from a dirty bomb going off in your city.  That’s what’s going to matter most. Because even if you don’t support this war on terror and even if you feel we should leave them alone, they will not give up on us. That’s why I believe we cannot give up on defeating these people. They hate us. It doesn’t make a difference if we’re in or out of Iraq. This is the second thing to keep in my while in the booth. Every candidate will remain in Iraq. To think differently is ridiculous.

As both Kerry and Bush run around the country, trying to gain numbers in swing states, their messages are clear. These are the facts, as I’m entitled to bring them to you:

1) Bush is defending what he’s done and portraying himself as a strong leader.

2) Kerry is portraying Bush as a bad leader, prone to mistakes. Yet Kerry is not highlighting his own plans for Iraq.

It’s important to make your own decision. Don’t let Eminem make the decision for you (If you’ve read my article ‘It Never Used To Be Like That’ you’ll understand my thoughts towards this guy, who’s recently released an anti Bush music video). It may be too late for Kerry to fix the mistakes he’s made. You’ve probably heard people on TV spewing out a message of  a “Just go out and vote” philosophy. But my message is Go out and vote, but for the right reasons and for something you believe in. That’s my message to you before you vote. It may not be partisan, but it’s straight forward. There you have it. Send comments, questions, or paranoid rants in…those are valued…even if you’re an extreme liberal/conservative loon. All opinions are respected…that’s the beauty of America.


Read Ryan Anderson's Blog: The Anderson Factor.



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More articles from Ren can be found here: The Rant Archive