After the death of her mother, V.Bee asks why do we wait so long to see the people we say we care about?
"Why Wait So Long?"
A slice of Life by V. Bee
September 22nd, 2005
My
mother passed away about three weeks ago. She would have been 81 years
old on Sep 8th 2005. She simply withered away, day after day for
a year, until God came to get her. The real tragedy is
that, at age 79, mom was in fairly good health. She was living on
cake, cookies, donuts and other assorted sugars. Of course, none
of us (brothers, sister and myself) didn’t really pay attention to what
mom was doing - that is, until mom’s 80th birthday party, when my
oldest brother took it upon himself to try and convince mom to eat some
chicken as opposed to birthday cake, which was all mom really
wanted. That day, the day which would turn out to be her final
birthday party, kicked off an unsuccessful, family-undertaken “feed mom
the right stuff” campaign. Beside all of our efforts, her health
took a turn for the worst. We moved mom first to a building that
was assisted living, then to a full-time nursing home that had 24-hour
care. Within six months after the second move, we were planning
her wake and funeral.
Needless to say, I’m condensing this unhappy story. But what I want to
really talk about to the readers of the Fedora Chronicles is - if
anyone can explain to me, is there is a particular reason why people
wait so long to see one another? Is it not a common event that we
mostly always wait until that person is no longer alive? but rather
lying in a wood box? Why do you suppose that is?
My family is appalled that I want nothing to do with a traditional
ceremony at the time of my passing out of this earthly world. The way I
figure, if these people can’t talk to me, or hang out with me, or
socialize with me, or are friends with me while I’m breathing, then why
in the world do they want to see me at all? I think it’s
hypocritical. I think it’s a sin. Humans should be more human, in my
opinion.
How many of you out there have attended wakes and seen people you
haven’t seen (and never see) for years and years and years? that act
like long lost friends? and say that they’re SO glad to see you? when
you can FEEL that is hardly the case. These people reek with deceit and
feign friendship, which I find disturbing, phoney and have a
considerably difficult time tolerating. I can hardly contain myself. I
have to sit on my temper. I don’t dare open my mouth; it’s better to
say nothing, it’s safer that way, you see, then the truth will never be
known.
So, while it hurts to lose my mother, I am greatly relieved that the
formality of the funeral is but a distant memory. If I’m lucky, I’ll
never see any of those insincere “friends” again while I’m alive.
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