Taking Offense at Being Offended

Eric Renderking Fisk | July 2, 2015

Here's everyone else's problem. Not my problem, not your problem, not the problem of most of my readers, but the problem of the people who have ‘selected indignation.’ And I might be talking specifically about some of my own "Friends" and "Family."

When I was much younger and scrawnier, I was bullied a lot. Bullied at school, bullied at home. I was told that I was "Asking for it" by being such a nerd. I needed to grow a spine and brass balls and not take everything so seriously and not take everything to heart. If words like "Faggot," "Nerd," "Retard" and "Queer" offend me, then that must mean that I'm a real pussy and again... I have it coming.

So what happened? I got tougher. I got thicker skin. I grew "a pair" and "a spine." I also learned via some examples on how to give as good as I got. And better.

Gaining a couple of extra pounds at the gym helped a little, too.

Now some of the same people who told me that I was "Asking for it" by being such a nerd are some of the same people who think The Confederate Flag needs to come down because it’s ‘offensive.’ Those people who said that I needed to grow a spine and brass balls and not take everything so seriously and not take everything to heart are some of the same people who are saying "Words hurt" and particular symbols are offensive and should be taken down?

It's OK that I was called "Faggot," "Nerd," "Retard" and "Queer" - but the dreaded “N Word,” “coon.” Funny how that works out, that selective indignation.

The people who told me to "grow up and stop taking offense to everything" are the same people who need to shut the funk up about being offended. You have the gall to tell a 14-year-old child who's being bullied and beaten at home and at school to "toughen up" but you want a symbol removed from a place where you've never been because it offends you? That makes you a hypocrite.

If you have "Selective Indignation" and you wait to gauge the GroupThink sentiment of our culture before getting outraged about something while turning a blind eye to the genuine hurt going on around you, you should know that says something about your lack of character.

There’s a lot of things that are going on at everyone’s local level that makes the controversy of the Confederate Flag still flying around another state's capitol look tame by comparison. Those issues aren’t worthy of your attention, so let’s get distraction by something that really doesn’t affect us, shall we?

Let’s get all worked up about something abstract by the media frenzy.

I guarantee that almost everyone who has been making a big deal about what should be done about a symbol in a place where they don’t live and will never visit have some genuine issue that they are ignoring. For all the people who have feigned indignation and used the hashtag #TakeItDown have a kid in their own extended family that’s being abused, ignored and neglected who could really use their attention. It’s so much easier to ignore all the “Dylann Roof’s” we have in our extended families and just jump on the social media bandwagon. “See, I’m a good person and I’m taking care of social issues by texting! LOL!”

Does The Confederate Flag have negative connotations? Does it have a history of racism or is it a symbol of southern pride? Should it be relegated to just museums or abolished altogether? More to the point, how did this become such a distraction in light of other more important news items that should be the focus of our attention? Or is that the point; we needed this distraction because those other stories were too horrible to face?

I asked this on our forum and I’ll reiterate it now; if people here in New Hampshire should have some say in whether or not the Southern States fly The Confederate Flag, does that mean other states should have some say in whether or not we should keep our State motto: "Life Free Or Die"? Are we opening up the floodgates and inviting everyone who is offended by something to rally against those things regardless of the severity of the offence?

I’m offended by pictures of neglected and ruined fedoras! We should purge the internet of those images now!

Here’s the problem, troops – the adults who told me to suck it up were right about me. Even after they tried to “beat the eccentric” out of me then they figured the die was cast, I had to learn that if I wanted to continue to be a dork I would have to live with the consequences. Thanks to them I am indeed tougher, with a stronger spine and brassier balls.

I’m also a lot less compassionate, too.

I’ll echo what I was told earlier, whatever it is you’re going to have to learn to deal with it. If something offends you then you’re the one with the problem, either because you’re too easily offended or you’re associating yourself with the wrong people.

If any one of us clings to something that others find offensive, we need to grapple with the consequences of that. People are quick to judge and if some of us wear a label that makes it easier for people to be prejudice against us then we need to learn to ignore it or work harder to prove those people wrong. Either way it’s a self-imposed handicap that might hamper our ability to strive.

On this final note, most of the people who are easily offended are also the most offensive people. They have no problem being blunt about their feelings but are easily wounded when they get what they give. To use the old cliché, they can’t take what they dish out. We’ve given these people a little too much power and they’ve earned the right to be ignored by the rest of us.

Keep in mind; I’m well aware that some people are going to be offended by this rant. I’ll brace myself by telling you to grow a pair and move on. If it’s good enough for me, it should be good enough to you. I’m not offended by your offence and if that offends you, enjoy!