Extreme Fedora Wearers
DanielJones wrote:It's a human condition. The reptilian complex in our brains tells us fight or flight. Those of us more evolved beings understand why there is a like for retro clothing and hats. Those still primitive minds don't understand it. Thus they fear what they don't understand, and then they hate what they fear and want to destroy what they hate. So maybe we need to take pity on our caveman brethren who are less evolved than we. Understand that they still fear the night and believe in the boogyman. That they will lash out at us because they don't understand and thus fear us. Fortunately I have more evolved relatives for the most part. A couple are still in question though.
I wanted to reply to this earlier and I never got the chance to do so before my computer had to reboot and I lost what I wrote. What we've all read from The New York Times article there's a new opening to make this comment.
I've spoken about the reptilian complex in our brains before and I have to agree with you that there is something very base about the people who openly reject us and anyone else who are a little strange. There is someone in my circle who prescribes to the notion that there are only a few "groups" or categories that people should be long to. You're either a "Jock" or a "Nerd," a "Musician," or a "Burn-Out" or "Stoner." You're either a member of the AV Club or play sports and that's it. There are no gray lines... or there aren’t supposed to be according to her.
Being a member of The AV Club who also wants to work out and lift weights and fight back at those who are trying to fit your ass in the locker is according to those people (who subscribe to "The Committee of They") is unacceptable. You're the nerd and the geek and being an athletic muscle “nerd” is a contradiction that bound breaks the stereotype and makes you more than 2 Dimensional and that’s an invitation for exclusion from many or all of these groups.
Being the nerd who wore a fedora and wanted to be on the rock-climbing team, go mountain hiking, and be Extreme Camping outdoor adventure nut was wrong and people with-in my family excluded those things from my “life-story.” It was easier to talk about me as the geek watching “Temple Of Doom” and “Return of The Jedi” over and over again while drinking Peppermint Schnapps when I wasn’t reading Frank Herbert’s DUNE. This is your box, this is where you belong, and this is where you have to stay. You are forbidden from breaking out of it.
Many people in my life have become furious for me for saying “No, I’m going to include all of these things in my life. I want a full life and you can’t tell me I can’t.” The same people who were happy to label me as the happy drunk geek stopped calling as soon as I chose sobriety and healthier lifestyle. ‘Hey! What happened to the drunk dork we loved to put down!’ Unacceptable and intolerable.
Simultaneously, there’s something I’ve noticed about our fellow fedora wearers and classic movie fans. None of us allow ourselves to be kept in those boxes, either. All of us are people of extremes. When we really like something we really like it a lot. When we hate something, we really hate something. When we’re ambivalent about something it just doesn’t exist for us. Passions run deep and most of us feel deep emotions and that scares many people around us. They skim the shallow of the superficial; it’s impossible for them to get too mad or too glad. I know that’s not me, and I don’t think that’s all of us here.
In my experience, and perhaps yours, I’ve noticed that I’’ve been excluded from many things. There have been a lot of family gatherings and reunions that have come and gone and I’ve found out about hem after the fact. There have been a handful of births and deaths that I heard about without even knowing that someone was pregnant, sick or had been in an accident. It’s been harder and harder to hide these events with the advent of facebook, but the exclusions still occur.
What I find odd is that I still get wedding announcements. We don’t get wedding invitations, but we get announcements: You’re not invited to the ceremony but we still expect the gift. Is that the message? I’m at a loss to explain this, other than the fact my money is still green enough, but my company isn’t.
There are also the pleas for help. The same folks who shun me from the positive life-changing events and celebrations will pick up the phone and ask for assistance; either via cash or two helping hands and a strong back. Or there’s someone having a fight with a sales person or bill collector and they want me to just show up, be quiet and look intimidating.
All of this leads me to a couple of questions and the conclusions that follow. Who or what is my real family? To whom do I really owe my allegiances to? Is it really “the fedora” that’s the problem, because I remember first thinking when I first starting wearing one that I might as well since I’m already alienated for being myself, why not go all the way?
I have no idea why there is so much negativity towards people who wear fedoras that’s alluded to in some of the articles that have been published recently. I’m only speaking for myself when I say that I wear them in part because I’m trying to emulate the heroes of my grandfather’s generation, real and cinematic. I had no real-world male role models who were as consistent as the ones on the movie screen. And I feel naked without one.
So we’re “dark, ominous and sinister.” Is it because we wear fedoras or are we those things first, and then we donned the mellon-toppers?