Defending Against The Tyrannosaurus Rex

[Hakaider]

(Artwork is by Paleo Pastori.)


There were some discussions about dinosaurs at a certain forum, and the subject was brought up about what weapon you would use if the T-Rex wanted you for a snack, and charged at you. I thought some of the answers were very amusing. One of the kids said that he would use a .38 pistol revolver, and even a .22 caliber pistol. One even said that he was a going to charge the dinosaur with a "Rambo" knife. (You could obviously tell who were the real military veterans, and who was the kid that thinks he was the overnight military expert by playing too many video games in there.)

To keep this into perspective, this dinosaur stood up to 20 feet tall, had teeth that was 6-8 inches long, can grow up to 47 feet long, and weighed up to 7.5 tons. It was also estimated that if this animal charged at full speed, it can reach up to speeds at over 25 miles per hour. It was not for nothing that this creature was known to be the one of the most ferocious dinosaurs of all time. (While the Gigantosaurus & Spinosaurus, were a bit bigger than the T-Rex, they did not have the same biting force as T-Rex, and their skulls were more delicate in comparison.) This creature has the capability of tearing a SUV vehicle into shreds, so hiding in a car, (Like in the "Jurassic Park" movie) is a very, very bad idea.

Personally, I would use nothing short of a rifle with a .50 caliber armor piercing round at a distance, and aim for it's head. (The one they use to pierce lightly armored vehicles.) The golden rule is to never even end up getting close to this beast, because it can easily outrun you, and can grab you with it's jaws before you can say "What the *&%$#@!!". (If you are less than 200 feet away from this dinosaur, you are way too close.)

I like what an old friend once told me about the T-Rex: "Yeah...I can easily kick it's ass....but after that I have to run really, really, really fast." Another friend (Who was a U.S. Army veteran) told me that, " I would shoot at it, and then run & scream like a little girl!" One police officer even told me, "Oh Hell No! I'm not going to stand still and shoot at it like in the movies! I'm gonna run & scream my head off!".

[AeroDillo]

A radio. Through which I would orchestrate a secondhand ass-kicking using either an AC-130 or an Iowa-class battleship. Depends how far we were from the water, I suppose.

If it had to be restricted to handheld weaponry, I think one of those Soviet rocket-propelled grenades should do the trick.

[n11pilot]

Dillo makes a great case. If I couldn't duplicate Dillo's coordinated air and sea fire support I think I would like to be in an M1A2 Abrams tank with a highly trained crew from the 1ST Armored Division. And even then about as far from the Rex as the gunner can accurately fire the main tube.

Courage is a fine thing but lets not over do it.

[AeroDillo]

Tank vs. T-Rex.

...this has television possibilities. We can air it right after Ice Poachers, the new series plotted out by my cousin and myself during our Colorado venture, which follows the present tendency of cable channels to turn damn near anything into a reality show. It involves poaching ice. Mister T will be involved...somehow. Lots of dramatic camera angles. Lots of dramatic music. Very little substance.

I think the thin air up there may have gotten at least one of us.

[Super Ordinary Guy]

I think a well placed shot with a round that could pierce the skin could it....from the proper distance of course.

I have seen deer go down from a 22.....

To prove a point I have seen a deer go down from a 22 CB short.

Shot placement is everything as long as you can pierce what you hit.

So I would have to research the toughness of the skin and then pick the caliber that would do the job from 200 Feet..

Oh yeah, based on my experience, I wouldn't do a head shot, I would definitely do a neck shot.

I hit an Antelope at 450 yards right in the heart and he kept walking for 20 or 30 yards or so before dropping. While field dressing no heart was found just red jello but he kept walking.. I can only assume it felt like a razor cut does to us... you see the cut and the blood starting to run but don't feel anything but a burn and it is a few seconds later...

Just my humble opinion.

[Hakaider]

The scary part is that this dinosaur was actually bigger & longer than a WWII Sherman tank or a Tiger tank. It probably could overturn the Sherman tank, and do some damage to the Tiger tank if it's allowed to get close enough to attack it.

A modern African elephant that's charging at full speed could overturn & destroy a jeep or a Land Rover, so one can only imagine what this creature can do.

It's also longer and bigger than a modern M1A1Abrams tank, but the tank has a good chance of withstanding being pummeled by the T-Rex if it's allowed to get close enough. (But why should the tank crew take that chance to even let it get that close? )

Even Dracula, Frankenstein's monster and the Werewolf wouldn't stand a chance against this thing. (Or Jason from the "Friday 13th" series for that matter.)

So how close would you need to get to it in order to use a Soviet RPG or a heavy caliber rifle before it notices you?

By the way, I would love to see a T.V. show that's called "Tank V.S. T-Rex".

[Super Ordinary Guy]

How close, well based upon your comment of 200 feet I would kick it up a notch and say a minimum of 100 yards for a rifle.

Of course it also depends upon caliber and weather conditions, wind etc......

You could always kick it up a bit to two or three hundred yards for a running start if you thought you were gonna miss

[n11pilot]

I may have watched one too many of those really terrible made for SYFY Channel movies. I was just thinking that the tank could stand off about half a mile and fire a DU penetrator. A few minutes later break out the beer from the, er, film refrigerator, set up the grill and call a few numbers from the commander's little black book. Instant party.

I hear it tastes just like prehistoric chicken.


Now, if your friend is looking for movie ideas how about one where an itinerant, fedora wearing, seaplane pilot crashes on the Island of incredibly attractive, leggy female scientists. Oh yeah, there should be a monster or something..........

[Hakaider]

Yup. A good running start is always good, just in case that you do miss and the T-Rex gets really really angry.


Well if one does end up on an island that's filled with scantily clad female scientists with a dinosaur roaming in the background... Doesn't the bimbos...err..I mean very nice girls always screams & trip in their high heels especially when the T-Rex shows up ? (It's practically traditional for that to happen with some of those older cheesy movies.)


*Does a imitation of Homer Simpson*

Hmmm...Prehistoric chicken...

[Super Ordinary Guy]

:lol:

I may have watched one too many of those really terrible made for SYFY Channel movies. I was just thinking that the tank could stand off about half a mile and fire a DU penetrator. A few minutes later break out the beer from the, er, film refrigerator, set up the grill and call a few numbers from the commander's little black book. Instant party.

I hear it tastes just like prehistoric chicken.


Now, if your friend is looking for movie ideas how about one where an itinerant, fedora wearing, seaplane pilot crashes on the Island of incredibly attractive, leggy female scientists. Oh yeah, there should be a monster or something..........

And a long range shooter appears at the last minute to help out the seaplane pilot by making almost impossible long range shots killing the monster or whatever, while the incredibly attractive, leggy female scientists try to distract him from his duties.....

He tries his best and makes fantastic kill shots on all the monsters but one ( the incredibly attractive, leggy female scientists distract him at the last second )oh well, we can always get another pilot...... but it is extremely difficult to find a lot of those incredibly attractive, leggy female scientists. Raoul has taught me well.

[n11pilot]

Nice try, my friend. Kevlar, its your best friend, wear lots of it.

[Super Ordinary Guy]

Nice try, my friend. Kevlar, its your best friend, wear lots of it.

But it is heavy and the helmet gives me headaches....

I wonder do they make Kevlar fedora's???

Maybe I could stand behind one of the incredibly attractive, leggy female scientists.

Oh wait, that didn't for OBL did it?

[Super Ordinary Guy]

Yup. A good running start is always good, just in case that you do miss and the T-Rex gets really really angry.


Well if one does end up on an island that's filled with scantily clad female scientists with a dinosaur roaming in the background... Doesn't the bimbos...err..I mean very nice girls always screams & trip in their high heels especially when the T-Rex shows up ? (It's practically traditional for that to happen with some of those older cheesy movies.)


*Does a imitation of Homer Simpson*

Hmmm...Prehistoric chicken...

MISS ????? Not an option.

scantily clad female scientist Scream and trip in high heels.... ahhhh yeah I think you are right...

Oh well, that is why we used the plural (Scientists) one or two of them might not fall thus assuring a HAPPY ENDING to the film...... and errr... oh nevermind this is G rated....

[AeroDillo]

...I see you two have been digging in my Corrigan file again. Except that his ride of choice was a Twin Beech, he operated in brown-girl rich environments where 'leggy' was less the operative word, and there doesn't seem to be mentioned of any prehistoric monstrosities roaming around.

Though there was that one time with the crab-people....

[n11pilot]

...I see you two have been digging in my Corrigan file again. Except that his ride of choice was a Twin Beech, he operated in brown-girl rich environments where 'leggy' was less the operative word, and there doesn't seem to be mentioned of any prehistoric monstrosities roaming around.

Though there was that one time with the crab-people....

Twin Beech, OK, that explains the skeleton found in the wreckage of a C-45 on page 23 of the script.
I can see that we are having artistic differences regarding leggy. To be fair I'll trade you one leggy for two buxom and to increase diversity we'll write in a rather large scientific team and add a stranded NFL cheer leading squad from a cruise ship sunk by the crab people. (Crab people? I'm getting my name taken off this turkey.)