Have I ever told this story in public before on our forum?
My mother's boyfriend from 1981 to 1985 was a genuine abusive red neck, illiterate neo-Nazi prick who handed out sever punishment because I was a non-conformist smart ass who took issue with the rhetoric he was spilling about all "N!ggers, Jews, faggots, and communists" should be killed at birth and The United States should have finished what Adolph started.
This character also ripped up and burned many of my books on many different occasions because he didn't like me reading or being too smart.
I was whipped with a switch until I nearly passed out from the pain because I said to my sister he was the definition of a Nazi.
Burn books? Check
Hatred of Jews? Check
Rhetoric about Jewish incineration? Check
If you sound like a Nazi and act like a Nazi... chances are really good that you are indeed... a Nazi.
At this point one would have thought Child Protective Services would have intervened... but allegedly too many people in the town were afraid of this character.
There was more abuse; physical, emotional, sexual abuse. The bunk that I endured was actually worse that what some men are serving life-long prison terms for war crimes. I've spent a lot of hours in therapist's offices and AA meetings trying to figure out how to fix or unbreak myself from what happened. I consider myself an expert in the field of parental douche baggery.
What this girl went through before she posted that nasty mean bunk about her dad was nothing compared to what I went through. Everything I had besides some clothes were thrown out because a few Saturdays before I was literally locked in my bed room for 48 hours and I wasn't allowed to go to the bath room so I filled a couple of his fancy Avon cologne bottles that were being stored in our room full of piss. He went to put some of his cologne on his face and the rest was history.
The daughter of this guy has no idea of what "hard" really is, nor does she know what responsibility or respect means, either. I hate to say this because I
really don't know the full story, but I get the sense that this girl has been a huge problem for her parents
When I was in my teens, my parents never gave me a computer. If they did, it would have been destroyed for asking simple, honest questions OR just being myself. Every time I sit at the computer and try and get work done I hear those voices repeated over and over again. I'm a no good rotten little bastard that ruined my parents life and I'm the reason why my father drank too much and ran away from home and abandoned us. I'm the source of all of my family's problems and my mom should have sent me away to "sleep away school" (you call them "orphanages") when she had the chance. Or maybe everyone would have been better off and died when I had that intestinal blockage when I was a few months old. Or maybe everyone would have been better off if I was never born at all.
I can not sit at this computer and work because I was told that I was too stupid to even function when I was a child. If I made any mistake I was on my own; you made your bed, now lie in it.
I'm struggling with those things that were said to me when I was growing up. I wake up every morning saying that this is the day I DON'T take my own life. I have this struggle with post traumatic stress disorder, depression, and narcissism (the fake image that people have of me, hiding my true self from the outside world.) I have tired to kill myself more times than I care to count. It's a constant struggle just to maintain a will to live.
Couple this with having sons that I have to discipline sometimes. I look at pictures of my sons and I start to get a little sick when I think about the times I had to spank them. But this post is way too long as it is...
